What the hell happened? Cruising along, making good progress on the Subaru conversion, and then suddenly the line went dead. What happened?
Everything, all at once.
- The 'C' word: Shortly after my previous post (in July!) both of my parents, within weeks of each other, were each individually diagnosed with stage 4 cancers. Stages aren't a 'clock' for when you kick it: they just describe how advanced the cancer is and if it has jumped between body organs. My father is already a partial invalid who won't acknowledge his limitations, which makes him especially challenging.
- Kiddo troubles: I have two, and the elder has Autism. He has deep seated behavioral problems that are far worse than the Autism, and those have stalled his academic and maturing process. After a decade is a very good school system, he has proven so far beyond their abilities that we have had to move him to an institutional setting, though he lives at home. This is both heartbreaking and a great relief, as we aren't playing the game anymore that he is ever going to get or be better. His sister is heavily medicated for ADHD and behavioral, and while she is doing well in the school system, it is only by constant presence and reinforcement that she is progressing.
- Work troubles: We've all got them. In my case, I'm standing on the precipice of ageism in an industry where (unless you are a rare talent) 40 is old. I'm rare, but I'm not that rare. Even management admits that the volume of work we're running is extreme, so work is a place of intense stress. I'm also trying to find work closer to home due to the previous three issues.
- The reaper outside the door: We've had more friends, acquaintances and extended family either walk up to the chasm of death and lay their toes over the edge, or been snatched by the reaper, and we've been part of the support for the dying or the survivors.
- My own health: Not so good, and made much worse by severe stress, which you can see is the only thing I have in abundance. Possibly growing my very own hiatal hernia. Psych counselling to make sure that I don't collapse under the load already present.
In lieu of the bus, you can see that my dance card is full. Hell, I don't even have time to watch a lick of TV with my wife: I've given up all of my favorite programming because there hasn't been a 'day of rest' in half a year.
This does not mean that I have stopped (I haven't) or quit (bite your tongue!) or given up. (Say that again, and there will be blood.) I just don't have time to blog about every little scratch on the project. Here's the omnibus version:
- After going through electrical hell with what I was assured was a good battery, and having bought a new starter, second guessed all of my wiring..come back to find I have a bum cell that wasn't cause by the Autozone eval machine. $90 of new battery sorts that. The calculatus eliminatus process takes 10 weeks though, since I'm wading through everything else (see above) at the same time. The engine turns over.
- New Alternator belt 273k5 or 5pk0690.
- A new Blau fuel filler cap.
If it doesn't sound like much, you're right. It has been a heartbreak to watch others who started years after me out running around in their conversion having fun. When you try to make and document a conversion anyone can do, it is a much higher bar than just scratching your own itch. So I'm trying to give myself some grace there.
So that's where I'm at. What will 2016 bring? I've no idea. Never say, "Things can only get better." Bull. They can always get worse, too.
Instead I choose to say: Let's go see what's over that hill...
